Friday, September 09, 2005

So today I found that the dude who was my best friend in Elementary School is into cosplay. Cosplay is dressing up as characters from anime.

I stayed close to this guy for awhile even after elementary school, and only started to drift in high school, really. When he started to get more and more lame, by my reckoning. So this is sad and depressing, rather than just a fun little fact of someone I was friends with ages ago.

Did I ever post about why I think divorce is so depressing? Because it's just the realization that you were dumb when you thought someone else was going to be like you forever. And the reason marriage is a hard and a weird idea is because you're not counting on them always being the same, because I don't think anyone expects themself to never change. Marriage, you're hoping on someone changing in the exact same ways. Or, that the closeness will make you travel on a similar path. We were never that kind of close. Well, perhaps in elementary school. But then changes happened, and so we grew apart. How things do.

The other old thought is my envisioning how tricky it is to age gracefully, while simultaneously being unchanging.

The post about writing had some ideas from awhile back, when I was internetless, and wanted to write a blog entry against autobiography. One of my thoughts for me is that I'm young, and yet don't want to write about youth. I don't like the idea of a coming-of-age story, because I think such things are misnomers and give false closure. Who ever comes of age? There are rituals for such things, but those rituals are hollow. Coming of age is a continual process, because you never reach the point where you stop changing. I had an idea for a coming-of-age story that would get past these problems by containing paradoxes. Basically, the ritual in the would be the ingestion of heroic amounts of drugs, which is how many people spend their teenage years. They end up incredibly permanently damaged, in a way that is unchanging, they can't grow past this point. The paradox is that the person they've become is basically a child in terms of mindset and capability. The mentally insane are the only true grown-ups, for they're the ones for whom the concept of growing can be placed firmly in the past tense.

Wow, this post was all over the place.

Is it sad and stubborn for me to say either "No way man, I'm going to keep on rock and rolling forever" (because I mean, despite my doubts, that is my goal) and obnoxious to think that I am so very much king shit of the awesomeverse to think that I changed as a person better than my friend (he of the orthodox Christian republicanism and the dressing up as Sailor Moon [I don't think he actually dresses like Sailor Moon])? I have my self-awareness that such things might be the case. (although I'm obviously certain of my coolness over other people, because I mean, you have to be, that's how things go, no one thinks that other people have better taste)

And my interests that I think are so great? How are those, you ask?

Well I am maintaining my grip on my perception of coolness, in that I am keeping up with new music.

Stuff downloaded and enjoyed recently include: new music from Wolf Parade, Broken Social Scene, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, The Psychic Paramount, Serena Maneesh, Black Dice, Jason Forrest, The Double, Sunset Rubdown, New Pornographers, Kanye West (although enjoyment is a bit less on those last two) and old music from the Godz. Oh, and I'm downloading a cassette made by WFMU called The Happy Listener's Guide To Mind Control.

I'm technically still reading Ulysses, although I'm stalled due to the fact that it's not very compelling, but I don't want to start other stuff yet. Other stuff includes such things as Don Delillo's Libra and Paul Auster's Moon Palace.

Last movie watched was the rather good Howl's Moving Castle. I would watch The Forty-Year-Old Virgin had I friends in town with which to see it with. Olympia is basically dead these days.

Have I mentioned that Michael Kupperman's comics, notably his book Snake And Bacon's Cartoon Cabaret, are really funny indeed?

So basically I'm a nerd but not the dressing in costume kind. So that's why I think I win.

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