There's a song that's been running through my mind. Don't want to type up the lyrics here, as that would be too fucking sad. Instead, here's my attempt at a Nick Hornby Songbook type essay.
When I first got to this college and started making the rounds of meeting people, there was an easy way to divine those who, like me, visit Pitchfork on a regular basis. I met two people. Their music collections were diverse but filled with stuff I respected. There were two CDs that both of them owned, and I owned as well. They were the only CDs by the bands that made them, and both were in CD wallets filled with Def Jux rap records. These two albums were Source Tags And Codes by And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead and Emergency & I by The Dismemberment Plan.
At Pitchfork there's an interview with The Plan, from before that record came out. They talk about the new songs that the interviewer had seen in a live setting, and Travis Morrison said that he was really excited about The City. It's one of the songs he enjoys playing. It's not my favorite song on the album. But it's the one that's been going through my thoughts in regards to those people I haven't seen in a while, who I left. I'm sure none of them thought the song in my direction, because I was the only Pitchfork whore amongst my high school circle- I think I might've lended Erin my copy of Emergency & I, but no one else had heard it, and surely no one listened to it again and again, practically memorizing every last lyric. Only I am at that pathetic.
But yeah, here I am in Olympia, and to steal the title from an album I've never heard and have no real interest in ever hearing, everyone who ever pretended to like me is gone. The short list of friends has gone home. The long list probably has too. Happy thanksgiving.
Last night, as I left the library, I saw the bus, accepting passengers. I considered going downtown, waiting at the Greyhound station and taking the next bus to Portland and hanging out there for a weekend. It was a pretty stupid idea, and I'm aware of it, but it's the stupidity of youth and I think everyone would forgive me. I didn't follow through with it then but I might still do it tomorrow.
No, I won't. None of the plans work out. Let's make some now- this is addressed to the short list of friends mentioned above, those who live in Olympia- On December 14th, at the Showbox in Seattle at 7 PM, is an all-ages show with Sleater-Kinney, Cat Power, and The Thermals. We should go.
We're not going to, but let's pretend we might. Deluding yourself is fun.
I guess I was deluding myself when I said I wasn't going to type out the lyrics to the song, but this post has gone awry. I'm not going to write them all, just a chosen verse:
So I'm not unsympathetic, I see why you left; There's nothing to do, there's no one to know, the city's been dead since you've been gone.