So as I shower, I hear a doorknock. I wrap up the showering and go outside. My mom had said she's sent a package of food, which would arrive Wednesday. Day late, but whatever.

It turns out I got a care package... without the care. There's a company called Philly Foods which sends a taste of Philadelphia by mail. Which when you think about all the amazing food, is a brilliant idea. But these foods come from amazing restaurants, which leaves us with-

What I think is a hoagie. I see lettuce emerging from the roll, and it has "no onions" written on the saran.

Tastykakes. These are pretty tasty, but not "send-by-mail" tasty. I can't say I've missed them, but anyone on campus who wants to discover the glory that is Butterscotch Krimpets should come over and say hello. It's a pretty meager glory, but I like them enough.

A can of black cherry wishniak soda. This is good shit. It's from Frank's, a company whose wares I've never sampled.

Goldenberg's Peanut Chews. Never thought of these as a regional thing. I think that if I ate them, they sucked ass.

A pretzel. They don't have Auntie Anne's out here, the poor bastards, but this is just a regular pretzel, seemingly unsalted, the kind of thing that firemen sell in suburban New Jersey for fundraising.

And the piece de resistance. A philly cheesesteak. In the most fucked-up and bastardized way. We've got a roll (probably Amoroso's) some vacuum-packed slices of meat and little American cheese singles. I can't express to you how unappetizing this is.

There's also two packs of mustard and a pack of olive oil, which is weird.

This is all packed into styrofoam, with a little freezer-pack thing and some bubble-wrap.

I know it goes without saying even when hearing the concept that you could get better food actually being in Philadelphia for a day. But I had no idea how true that was until my mom seemingly forgot it.