So I was going to write a thing about how people look at musicians like deities, and how that disturbs me, especially when it regards musicians I like. With musicians I don't like, it's just kind of amusing. I'll excuse it for Neutral Milk Hotel, but the Modest Mouse people, the Radiohead people? I just don't get that. I've also thought about how even the three best Radiohead albums aren't even some of my favorite records. The two best Modest Mouse albums are though. Anyway, yeah, the deification of musicians I guess pushes me away from the music slightly. I feel that certain music belongs to me, but only in the context of it being Really Fucking Great. Finding out that other people have stronger connections to it, kind of disturbing connections, puts me off it.

But then my thoughts went a different route.

And I started to think about my favorite records, and how often I hear them at Evergreen, and how that sucks. Because even if I don't make the musicians out to be deities, I guess there's some music that I almost view as being sacred. And even though I like to hear about how other people like it too, the actual music that I really like I only want to hear at certain times, when that is what I specifically desire, partly as not to get burned out on it, partly so it, in my imagination, is only associated with the moments with which it hits me the hardest. Every once in a while I'll hear snatches of Neutral Milk Hotel or something, and I just don't want to be around it. Same with... a lot of other records, actually. I haven't listened to Built To Spill in ages, since I got kind of burnt out on my favorite record of theirs, There's Nothing Wrong With Love. A few years down the road, nothing is going to sound better than that album, as long as I don't hear it in the meantime.

So basically, it's a very small segment of music that I don't mind listening to when other people play it. It has to be good enough on it's own merits, and not anything I love and listen to a lot so much that I've stopped wanting to hear it for an extended period of time. There's also music so good that I don't want it to play while other people's behavior is the focus, with the music serving as background.

Weirdly, I've listened to a lot of music kind of in the background while doing other things on the computer. This is not the same as certain music playing at a party or over conversation. I guess the main difference is that I choose the music and can control it, but there's also a part of me that just always wants. say, Sweet Jane to not be ignored. If Sweet Jane is playing, it should be the focus of all that is in earshot.