Monday, November 21, 2005

I gots that feeling. That one where there's writer's block so the stuff I've been writing I can't quite deal with, but there's still this kind of nervous energy that can only be solved by making art. I wish I could play music, or draw, or something like that, something more rocked the fuck out than deliberated over.

I had an idea the other idea, but that was one that required someone else, and because of the fact that my only real talent is for coming up with ideas, very few people are down for that kind of musical collaboration- even people that would benefit from it the most, people without ideas.

Don Delillo's Libra is mostly not very good, and soon I will be done with it. Most books I have that are waiting to be read I am not particularly down for.

I want to shoot film, or video to be accurate about it, and I want to edit the shit out of it and oh I just have all these ideas, and they're fucking bursting but I don't have the tools at hand sonofabitch. Son of a bitch. If I don't get a short film finished by the end of this school year, what the fuck am I doing? It needs to happen. I need to have something to show, something other than short stories and this novel in process. The whole "living life solely for the sake of your own creative output" only works if art is created, and I mean, I'm not depressed, I'm not minding the whole "only joy or really only thing at all is social interaction and art consumption" but that is mostly sad.

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