Here's something I wasn't completely sure I was going to post, I needed to articulate it in text, and I'm going to post it, because rather than the personal solipsistic bullshit that I hate and try to avoid, I think I came up with my statement on the whole male-female relationship thing.

And ooh, it's personal, so pretty much everyone from Pennsylvania who I never talked about things of a personal nature with can be all "what has washington done to you" This is a direct quote from Diana, and was great, because it made me feel super-alienated from her, and she's one of my closer friends. So, yeah, without further ado, let's start talking about what we talk about when we talk about love:


Girl named Laura. Evie said she could see me with someone adorable, and this is precisely the kind of shit she meant. Indie-rockin vegetarian girl who I saw on Halloween decked out pretty solidly in pink and green, bike with tape to fit this color scheme. This is not her costume, these are just her favorite colors. The kind of girl who Tullycraft’s “Twee” reminds you of if you’re familiar with that song and the kind of person described therein.

And I’m not super-psyched on her. Kind of thing where, if she dug me, I’d be pretty happy with that situation. That would be a good situation. If she weren’t, which is how things appear at this point, I wouldn’t lose sleep. I’d get more sleep, knowing her stance. It wouldn’t even go back to being friends, it would shift back to being acquaintances, because people don’t date their friends, oh no, that’s a bad idea, that’s a bad scene that can only lead to disaster.

But let’s just go with that first “what if” as it’s the more monumental of these two thoughts. It would be such a normal relationship, and I mean that in the shittiest way possible. Regular boy/girl romantic relationships are retarded because of all the arbitrary shit. Like “I love you” is a bad thing to say. I love everyone I don’t hate, pretty much. There are people I love just because they make jokes or say amazing things. But these aren’t the people that you date, oh no. You date whoever’s available and relatively attractive and it’s a fucking load of horseshit. “I love you” is something that might not be true at first. It’s something that needs to be built to. These boy-girl relationships don’t start with love, that’s just something you hope comes along. It’s like the bullshit for a doctoral dissertation, where you have some idea and then research the hell out of it to find out if that’s the way it is.

Here’s my point: You should date your friends, because your boyfriend is an asshole.