I just finished watching Kieslowski's Blue. It's a great film, one I don't quite get, as it's obviously loaded up with symbolism, and done with a great deal of deliberateness. As I was watching I found myself distracted by my thoughts. Class registration for Spring quarter is coming up in less than nine hours and my initial enthusiasm for some of the classes being offered has given way now to boredom and a feeling of spinning my wheels. Nothing I've written down to sign up for will teach me anything solid, there are no workable skills to be found. I want to make films next year, there's a program called Mediaworks which will hopefully allow me to do just that.

I was talking a few nights ago to someone about the difficulty of living up to one's potential, because there's just so much potential in a person and a limited amount of youth to expend it. The only way to live up to one's potential is to put oneself in positions one wouldn't normally find themselves in. I could build a blimp in a backyard over the course of a year. I could make films. There's also the possibility I could do shit like become a surgeon or learn the ins and outs of the law.

But it's been a year and a half of pursuing writing. I'm done with doing that for school, paying to learn about it. Fuck it. Fuck it in its ass. I might end up taking Faulkner and Friends tomorrow. The reason that's tempting is because I own three of the books on the syllabus, and I'll read them eventually. And at this exact moment in time, that's what makes me not want to take the class.

I'm now leaning towards Framing Film, but I want to tear through the catalog now and find something that will teach me something I don't already know. There's a class about sailing, which, as I thought about it watching Kieslowski's Blue, seemed really tempting.

Goddamn.