I just bought a subscription to McSweeney's. This might have been dumb, what with the whole being-poor thing. But: Kind of a bargain, if you think about it. I'm sure it will make me happy when it comes in the mail. Well, once I get back to Philly there's a large possibility my brother will yell at me for being fucking retarded, but it doesn't matter. The last thing I ordered through the internet, Brainiac's Bonsai Superstar, I got a refund for. That's the thing with Half.com apparently- only half of the orders actually occur.

Also working on writing stuff while other people are gone for break. Writing makes me feel writerly, like I'm not just full of shit whenever I talk about wanting to do it professionally. I like feeling writerly more than the actual writing, I'm thinking.

Other plans for the next two weeks: Go to Goodwill and buy some pants. See Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind the day it comes out. See Liars the following week. Maybe see if I can get in a car that's going to California, but that's the least likely of all these things. Maybe do volunteer work somewhere? I've never done that. Doing so will both not just make it easier for me to get into heaven, but also easier to get into a job in Philadelphia. I also like the idea of doing volunteer work because it seems, to a certain degree, like dropping out of society. Which is the whole writing thing as well, I guess. But to do both? To do all kinds of work not-for-profit? I think that sets up a nice precedent that I might need to fall back on, of just saying "fuck it, I'll do volunteer work, subsist on donations and try to sell my writing."

This is me living in a fantasy world. Not even a fantasy world I'd want to live in, actually. (the preferable fantasy world involves me making money from writing.) God, what the fuck?

In reality, I've realized that after I graduate, the only job I will probably be able to get is writing for some kind of men's magazine, or "lad mags" as they are apparently known in Britain. That's what you do with a liberal arts degree and an ability to make dick jokes now, if you can't finance your independent film. And who the fuck can finance an independent film? My future is totally writing for Blender.